‘Good is the deed that is not spoken of, but is done; Selfless is the Love that is not declared, but is perceived.’
And yet we never miss a chance to talk about our “good deeds”. Funny right, we love telling people that you should just “let it go” and we then love not “letting it go”. Ok! this is getting too much complex even for me. Let me restart, explaining the thought behind this whole mixed up mystification.
At some point of time in our lives, we all have been tricked, scammed, ripped off, ditched or betrayed or cheated on etc etc. We are the self made victims and love being dramatic about the fact that how good people, like us, are treated as foot mats. I relate to this because I too have been a self made victim and have spoken of being “the good person”. That being said, it doesn’t mean I love to talk about what I have or have not done for anyone in my life. And that’s the reason I wish to preach that what I practice.
You and Me, all of us are born the same way, we grow up the same way, we learn basically the same things till the time we are labelled as mature enough and big enough to make our own decisions and choices. What we need to understand is not every choice we make will be right. Sometimes we do mess up big time in making our choices, we ignore the signs that warn us and still go ahead with “that” one decision thinking its right until things become worse.
I too have had my share of bad, worst experiences, few of them have left their scars for life!! Yes, I spent many a nights thinking to myself about how I was wronged, kept arguing with myself that I was a good person why was I wronged? Amidst the countless arguments, analysis and battle with myself, I happen to come across a post that literally solved all the puzzles in my head. I’d like to quote Tamanna C, a beautiful soul I met sometime back – ” “Being a victim” is never a part of any one’s Karmas. It’s a choice we make, so we have a shield of excuses ready, to blame our failures on”. It took me a while to realize that when things go not as planned, we tend to blame people, our destiny, situation and everything else that we can think of except us!! That’s the so called human nature. To a large extent whatever that happens with us, we choose to let it happen. Like in choosing the people around us, a girl being defiled by a boy just because she trusted her even when the people around her warned her, a friend being mistreated by their best friend., and then that one person in family who was like a sister you never had but you might not mean anything to her and so on. There are a million ways we mess up in our choices and then we blame every possible factor we can think of to be responsible for the consequences we face. Why can’t we just accept, that we messed it up and not blame anyone even the one who did wrong to you. I mean what will you gain in the end by disgracing someone, in my opinion you are just degrading your own value by talking bad about anybody.
Yes, even I chose a wrong person as my friend, I trusted a wrong person and so I am facing the consequences. And yes, had I not trusted them things would’ve been different, had I not tried to give all the best things in life to them, they wouldn’t have bereaved me. They got a chance to do all that because of my misjudgment, and so I accept. Its not them who failed in being a friend, or a sister, its me who failed myself by choosing to trust them.
By god’s grace, I have some exceptionally good people in my life and I am ever thankful to know them and be with them. However, I am thankful to those few as well who’ve been there as good friends but who just couldn’t remain loyal to their friendship, I am glad that things went wrong otherwise I would always have been with people like you who just want to besmirch someone’s life and come out as a saint after their sins. I thank you for all the good memories, which were based on false pretense and pernicious intentions, I thank you for your unspeakable actions and the insincere apologies. If it wasn’t for people like you, I would not have had experiences to learn from, the mistakes to learn from and teach from. And what is life if we make no mistakes, what is life without no experiences gained?? Right!?!
To sum up the this overflow of emotions, all I want to say is that if you’ve done something good for someone don’t brag about it, if you have done something good, cast it into the river. You should lead a good life, a life away from the unnecessary gossips & negativity. Even with the verbal spat from negative people, you keep your head up and take the high road. Remember that you are responsible for your actions only, what others do is not your responsibility even if they blame you for their actions. It does seem hard to forget the betrayal, in fact it really isn’t. All you gotta do is just stop thinking about them, let them out of your head and trust me its not at all difficult to do so.. I have this perfect message that might help you as it helped me.
In the end, I will finish off by telling the truth behind my silence, my answer to those few who did what they did, spoke what they wanted to, and thought I could do nothing, I beg to differ, for I chose not to do anything, for I chose to be a better person and not a meager contentious person –
“Often I m made to believe that I m weak..but That weakness is my strength..”